Sexy Inventors Part 2

We're back my little love muffins!!! We missed so so darn much we just couldn't stay away any longer...we know, it was hard for us too. But now that we're back, we are coming back with a vengeance! Are you ready for some dateable and/ or undateable people?! Well you better be because here we go!!! Our first contestant is the ever genius, ever mysterious, ever mustache-ed Nikola Tesla!

Hey, Baby.

Nikola Tesla began his life in a small village in what is now Croatia. He had 4 siblings (one of which he might have accidentally killed... oops) and could do integral calculus in his head when he was 14. Wait, what? This cat was so intelligent that he could do calculus problems in his head, so from this we can gather that he went on to become a genius in his own right, which is always a nice trait to have, right?

But Tesla's life was far from easy street, let me assure you. He had to run to avoid the draft, he almost died of cholera, he was overworked, and became addicted to gambling. And to top all that off, after quitting his gambling addiction, Tesla was unprepared for finals at the university, so he never actually graduated. This dude just cannot catch a break! He worked odd jobs here and there and ended up in America.

Watch out America...

 Something that you might not know is that our little Nikola actually worked for Thomas Edison! But here's where the drama starts going down. Tesla said he could improve Edison's generator design, and Edison (of course, not believing this) said if he could successfully do so, he would give him a mighty generous chunk of change. About a million dollars in today's money. However, when Tesla came back with his design for an Alternating Current (AC) generator, stingy, old Edison just said he must not have understood he was kidding ("Tesla, you don't understand our American humor"), so Tesla left Edison's company and his stupid DC motors and started off on his own! And when that didn't work he became a ditch digger. But eventually, with some support, he was able to create and patent his AC motor and began working with Westinghouse. After this Tesla and Edison were bitter rivals and (as you can see in the blog on Edison here) Edison went to great lengths to prove HIS version was better, this including killing elephants and kittens with AC current to demonstrate the danger you could face using it (if you decided to take part in the popular pastime of grabbing live wires). Regardless of this, Tesla continued working to improve the science and technology of his time.

This just shows you how dedicated and passionate Tesla was when it came to his work! He was unwilling to let Edison step all over him when he worked his booty-boot off in designing an AC motor. This could be a good sign for you if he's willing to stop looking at his blue prints and patents to spend some quality time with you... IF... although I think we can all agree that this might be in order...

Tesla went on to invent some amazing inventions and concepts, as well as inspire countless other aspiring inventors. He was responsible for one of the first X-ray images, the first wireless powered boat, the Tesla Coil, and the Tesla Effect (both these namesakes are pretty freaking amazing). Radio, RADAR, hydroelectric power, and countless other things were all invented because of his ideas and patents. He even freaking figured out the resonant frequency of the Earth 50 years before they could prove it! And they still don't know how he created ball lightening in his lab! This dude was amazing!

Anyways, rant over. Now for the important stuff. What do we think of Nikola Tesla? We find Nikola Tesla to be.......Questionable?

As you can already tell, Tesla was a freaking genius. He was not only that, but well rounded as well. He could memorize full books and could cite them at will, he knew numerous languages and was fluent in all of them, AND he was great with pigeons, one of which he even said he truly loved and had some sort of pigeon-man relationship with (we never said he was perfect...). Plus all the other things mentioned earlier! Being so well rounded and cultured, having a conversation with Tesla would be enlightening and probably really interesting and he would be a beast at Trivial Pursuit if you were playing against another team on date night.

However, the downside to this is that all this intelligence and creativity is dedicated to science. He fell for science, HARD. You could say he was in love with science, and that, if you were, theoretically, in a relationship with him, you would come second, hands down.

But, Tesla was an incredibly handsome guy. He was tall, dressed in clean, pressed suits, and had a stellar mustache. I mean, come on:

He is rather dashing, wouldn't you agree? (last pick-up line Tesla, I swear)

His meticulous nature also has a downside, as it were, because Tesla developed what we would now refer to as OCD. He needed everything to be just right. Everything had to be in sets of 3, he couldn't stand circles or touching hair (you might need to shave your head for him), and everything had to be spotless.

 So as the score sits:

Dateable:

1. He is a freak-a-freaking genius (and well-rounded!)

2. Devilishly Handsome

Undateable:

1. He doesn't have much time for you, science is the leading lady in his life

2. He was really meticulous, like he probably had OCD, and if you are messy, honey, that is NOT okay

We won't hold against you or anybody else:

1. Pigeon love affairs

I know this is the moment you've all been waiting for... I know I have!! PIE CHART COME ON DOWN!!!

But though we hate to burst your bubble, ladies and gentlemen, Tesla didn't date. Anybody. He was waaaaaaay too busy inventing and thinking about important scientific discoveries from the day he was born to the day he died. He said that inventors should not marry because no inspiration for invention can come from the other person as it might in art or music. That doesn't make him theoretically undateable, though. Just realistically you would never date him... because he would turn you down... and he is dead.

I find this book so much sexier than you. That's normal, right? 

But regardless of this little setback, Nikola Tesla was a pretty awesome dude that contributed a lot to the world as we know it. Hey, you wouldn't be able to get cell service, or internet, or any of that cool stuff without this genius right here! So tune in next time and we will see you in our next edition of the Dateable Blog!!!