Sexy Inventors Part 2

We're back my little love muffins!!! We missed so so darn much we just couldn't stay away any longer...we know, it was hard for us too. But now that we're back, we are coming back with a vengeance! Are you ready for some dateable and/ or undateable people?! Well you better be because here we go!!! Our first contestant is the ever genius, ever mysterious, ever mustache-ed Nikola Tesla!

Hey, Baby.

Nikola Tesla began his life in a small village in what is now Croatia. He had 4 siblings (one of which he might have accidentally killed... oops) and could do integral calculus in his head when he was 14. Wait, what? This cat was so intelligent that he could do calculus problems in his head, so from this we can gather that he went on to become a genius in his own right, which is always a nice trait to have, right?

But Tesla's life was far from easy street, let me assure you. He had to run to avoid the draft, he almost died of cholera, he was overworked, and became addicted to gambling. And to top all that off, after quitting his gambling addiction, Tesla was unprepared for finals at the university, so he never actually graduated. This dude just cannot catch a break! He worked odd jobs here and there and ended up in America.

Watch out America...

 Something that you might not know is that our little Nikola actually worked for Thomas Edison! But here's where the drama starts going down. Tesla said he could improve Edison's generator design, and Edison (of course, not believing this) said if he could successfully do so, he would give him a mighty generous chunk of change. About a million dollars in today's money. However, when Tesla came back with his design for an Alternating Current (AC) generator, stingy, old Edison just said he must not have understood he was kidding ("Tesla, you don't understand our American humor"), so Tesla left Edison's company and his stupid DC motors and started off on his own! And when that didn't work he became a ditch digger. But eventually, with some support, he was able to create and patent his AC motor and began working with Westinghouse. After this Tesla and Edison were bitter rivals and (as you can see in the blog on Edison here) Edison went to great lengths to prove HIS version was better, this including killing elephants and kittens with AC current to demonstrate the danger you could face using it (if you decided to take part in the popular pastime of grabbing live wires). Regardless of this, Tesla continued working to improve the science and technology of his time.

This just shows you how dedicated and passionate Tesla was when it came to his work! He was unwilling to let Edison step all over him when he worked his booty-boot off in designing an AC motor. This could be a good sign for you if he's willing to stop looking at his blue prints and patents to spend some quality time with you... IF... although I think we can all agree that this might be in order...

Tesla went on to invent some amazing inventions and concepts, as well as inspire countless other aspiring inventors. He was responsible for one of the first X-ray images, the first wireless powered boat, the Tesla Coil, and the Tesla Effect (both these namesakes are pretty freaking amazing). Radio, RADAR, hydroelectric power, and countless other things were all invented because of his ideas and patents. He even freaking figured out the resonant frequency of the Earth 50 years before they could prove it! And they still don't know how he created ball lightening in his lab! This dude was amazing!

Anyways, rant over. Now for the important stuff. What do we think of Nikola Tesla? We find Nikola Tesla to be.......Questionable?

As you can already tell, Tesla was a freaking genius. He was not only that, but well rounded as well. He could memorize full books and could cite them at will, he knew numerous languages and was fluent in all of them, AND he was great with pigeons, one of which he even said he truly loved and had some sort of pigeon-man relationship with (we never said he was perfect...). Plus all the other things mentioned earlier! Being so well rounded and cultured, having a conversation with Tesla would be enlightening and probably really interesting and he would be a beast at Trivial Pursuit if you were playing against another team on date night.

However, the downside to this is that all this intelligence and creativity is dedicated to science. He fell for science, HARD. You could say he was in love with science, and that, if you were, theoretically, in a relationship with him, you would come second, hands down.

But, Tesla was an incredibly handsome guy. He was tall, dressed in clean, pressed suits, and had a stellar mustache. I mean, come on:

He is rather dashing, wouldn't you agree? (last pick-up line Tesla, I swear)

His meticulous nature also has a downside, as it were, because Tesla developed what we would now refer to as OCD. He needed everything to be just right. Everything had to be in sets of 3, he couldn't stand circles or touching hair (you might need to shave your head for him), and everything had to be spotless.

 So as the score sits:

Dateable:

1. He is a freak-a-freaking genius (and well-rounded!)

2. Devilishly Handsome

Undateable:

1. He doesn't have much time for you, science is the leading lady in his life

2. He was really meticulous, like he probably had OCD, and if you are messy, honey, that is NOT okay

We won't hold against you or anybody else:

1. Pigeon love affairs

I know this is the moment you've all been waiting for... I know I have!! PIE CHART COME ON DOWN!!!

But though we hate to burst your bubble, ladies and gentlemen, Tesla didn't date. Anybody. He was waaaaaaay too busy inventing and thinking about important scientific discoveries from the day he was born to the day he died. He said that inventors should not marry because no inspiration for invention can come from the other person as it might in art or music. That doesn't make him theoretically undateable, though. Just realistically you would never date him... because he would turn you down... and he is dead.

I find this book so much sexier than you. That's normal, right? 

But regardless of this little setback, Nikola Tesla was a pretty awesome dude that contributed a lot to the world as we know it. Hey, you wouldn't be able to get cell service, or internet, or any of that cool stuff without this genius right here! So tune in next time and we will see you in our next edition of the Dateable Blog!!!

Superheroes

Why haven't we done this before? We honestly didn't think of this? Well, my little bacon cheddar biscuits, we are about to enter the realm of action and mystery, suspense and drama, and really tight, colorful tights. That's right. We're blogging super heroes, baby!! Strong, beautiful, muscular men with freakish super powers and/or lots and lots of money! Let's get started, shall we?


First up, God of Thunder and bearded Norse charmer: Thor.

Yes! Quake in fear at the glorious Thor! We found Thor to be dateable!

You see, Thor is basically a Viking God- he has ultimate cosmic powers and controls freaking lightning and he has a crazy big hammer, Mjolnir. Imagine the kind of stuff you could do on dates... fly around the world…. Lightning show…even try to lift his hammer… try on his cape…

Harnessing the power of lightning for your simple amusement...  

However on the other hand, this means Thor has the potential to be a royal pain, so to speak. He can be extremely arrogant, I mean he is a GOD, so he thinks he's entitled to some stuff... like how he completely disregarded what his dad told him and decided to ruin the already shaky truce with the Frost Giants and hurtled the Asgardians into another war… that was kinda sucky of him. And if he is willing to disobey his FATHER- ODIN, man, he isn’t going to be afraid of you, either! What if he tries to make you fight him on your dates, or God forbid, LEAVE YOU to go start something with someone/thing that is just trying to do their do!? He can get kinda pushy with the “I am the God of Thunder” stuff, so that can be a turn off.

Another downside to being an Asgardian is that he has Mead Hall Manners (yes, I just made up that phrase…). He comes from a place where they eat in Mead Halls, so he’ll be loud and ill-mannered at dinner- not because he hates you or anything, but that’s just how they do in his home! Smashing cups, throwing food, drinking yourself silly, and probably not using utensils….EVER.  It could be fun… until you want to try eating out for a change (you got tired of cleaning the mashed potatoes off the wall of your apartment…). Then, you are just asking for trouble, unless you find a place that allows all of that…which would be kind of awesome…

Anyways, what you may not know about our lovely Viking is that after he was banished to Earth, he was sentenced to share a body with some dude named Donald Blake. So if Thor ever needed to …like...go to the store to buy mini frosted donuts, he would just bust out of Blake and get his miniature, holed pastries on! And guess what? His alter-ego, Blake, was a doctor! And doctors are always nice to have around! They can make you feel better when you’re sick, if you get married, they can support you and maybe they’ll be able to get you some seriously great benefits from their high paying jobs!   

Also, (how have I not mentioned this already?) he is freaking beautiful. Chris Hemsworth played Thor in the movie adaptation and well…

Mhmm….

He is seriously good looking and he has a cape.

So, the totals are:

Good:

1.     Handsome

2.     Doctor Alter-Ego

3.     Crazy cool Viking powers

Bad:

1.     Dude be full of himself

2.     If only his table manners were as good as his hair…

Even though he’s not the God of Pie charts, I’m sure he would still approve…

Up next, we have Lord of the Fish: Aquaman!

And to be completely honest.... we found Aquaman.... not all that dateable.....

To quote Raj Koothrappali from The Big Bang Theory: "I don't want to be Aquaman! He sucks! He sucks underwater! He sucks fish pee!"


As much as I hate to admit it, how Aquaman became Aquaman, according to the original story, is actually pretty cool. His father was a brilliant scientist who stumbled upon the lost city of Atlantis, and holed himself up in the palace in an air tight container and studied the devices and culture of the lost civilization. He then taught his young son the secret lost arts of Atlantis. Separating oxygen from the water, swimming super fast and talking to the sea life... so he became Aquaman from learning and science.... kinda legit. This means he must actually be pretty brilliant if he LEARNED how to do it...

They haven’t made a movie out of Aquaman, however they HAVE tried to make a TV series.  And it didn't make it past the pilot.  So it's a fair assumption that it wasn't that good.  I guess we can assume Aquaman was  attractive… I mean the guy who played him in the pilot was pretty handsome:

Does Aquaman have gills? At first, yes. Then...maybe? Are gills attractive? Only if you want them to be...

Hey, Baby....

Also, what is up with his choice of costume? He kinda looks like a carrot. I get the "goldfish scale" orange top part, but his green tights along with that.... not so much... so he really needs some help with fashion sense... maybe you could help a brother out!

From what I’ve gathered, however, all Aquaman can do is like... call fish to do his bidding... Which could be cool... make some mackerels attack you...

hehe... MACKEREL ATTACK!!!!

Except when it's piranhas.... that would be freaking scary... (word to the wise: do NOT google piranha attack....) So breathing underwater, talking with fish, and swimming really fast...he also uses a trident sometimes... he probably uses that to poke things with....

Those sexy fish powers in action…

We would also like to point out that Aquaman is known as a sucky superhero. Like, there are MULTIPLE Facebook pages dedicated to the suckiness of Aquaman. It probably has to do with how as part of the Super Friends, he either watched the fort, or was kidnapped for most of the time... because everyone else had powers usable outside of water... so he just pretty much... chilled at the headquarters... So I guess that means he really is kind of useless in land/space fights. Unless he starts poking people with his trident... 

He lives underwater so you would only be able to see him A) when he decides to stop by land, and B) when you go scuba diving….or if you can hold your breath for a really long time… Along with  that that downside, he will definitely pick his ocean kingdom over you. Sucks, right? With great fish powers comes great fish responsibilities... and that means that his ocean kingdom must come first. So he's probably busy with like... oil spills... melting glaciers.... shark and whale conflict resolution... all the really important stuff...

Although, he does have a sweet ride...

So to sum it all up:

Good:

1. kinda brilliant

2. supposedly handsome

3. sweet ride

4. Pretty strong/ good swimmer

Bad:

1. suck powers

2. lives underwater (and you can't)

3.  super busy with... fish king stuff...

4. Weird Costume

5. mostly useless in battle out of water

Things we won't hold against you (unless you want us to *wink*):

1.Possible Gills?

3.14% of sailors are PI-rates..... haha...yeah... math joke.... here's the freaking pie chart....

We've heard a lot about how the new Aquaman is getting awesome or something...well...we'll always remember him as Suck-quaman in our hearts.... 

Until Next Time On the Dateable Blog! Don't forget to be awesome!!

Sexy Inventors

We're back!! We know you missed us. Confess. Well after that weirdness, let's get on with the point of this post and talk about some attractive/sexy inventors!

First up, Thomas Edison.


We found Thomas Edison to be......Questionable. Confused as to how we couldn't decide? Read on and discover!

Didn't know he was so hot, huh? Neither did we until this blog. So not only is he brilliant, but he is also attractive. Cha-ching!

He was born in Milan.....Ohio. Hah! you thought he was Italian. Giving another shoutout to my midwest boys! Wha-What!! Only unlike Drew Carey, he's cool. He's the youngest of seven children and a school drop out. When he was a teenager, he saved a three year old from a run away train. Booyah. Now that is BA.

The thing that Thomas Edison is most famous for is the invention of the lightbulb. He also had many other inventions such as the nickle-iron batteries, carbon microphone, and the accidental phonograph. How do you invent something on accident??

One interesting story is about Mr. Edison and Topsy the elephant. Topsy, was up for execution for smooshing people, not the Jersey Shore kind. So instead of hanging her, they decided to let Mr. Edison use her as a wacked out science experiment. He used alternate currents to kill Topsy. So smart, creative, attractive, animal killer.... C-C-C-C-Combo Breaker!!!

If you REALLY want to see it, click HERE.... you sicko...

This is not the first animal that he killed however. He killed multiple cats and dogs because they were easy to steal from his neighbors yard*. He also got a couple cows and horses too.

The most famous quote from Thomas Edison is "Genius is 1% inspiration, 99% perspiration." So basically, Homeboi stank*. But he was brilliant while doing so.

Good

1. He's a hero.
2. Kinda smart.

Bad

1. He electrocuted aminals.
2. He was a smelly, smelly man.

We were going to give you more, but then it was too hard soooooo......goodnight! See you later, deuces!

*The events in this blog may or may not be true. Except for the elephant. That is definately true 'cuz we have footage.

We Are Coming Back!!!!

Heeeeeeeeey!!

So we told you that we were quiting the blog because of school and schtuff. So we finally remembered the blog and we remembered that we haven't posted for like 2 months....our bad. Actually, mostly my bad, mia culpa, but we can talk about that later.

Tehe, these are cute:)

Anyway, stay tuned for some exciting new hotties, smarties, and dateables!