Superheroes

Why haven't we done this before? We honestly didn't think of this? Well, my little bacon cheddar biscuits, we are about to enter the realm of action and mystery, suspense and drama, and really tight, colorful tights. That's right. We're blogging super heroes, baby!! Strong, beautiful, muscular men with freakish super powers and/or lots and lots of money! Let's get started, shall we?


First up, God of Thunder and bearded Norse charmer: Thor.

Yes! Quake in fear at the glorious Thor! We found Thor to be dateable!

You see, Thor is basically a Viking God- he has ultimate cosmic powers and controls freaking lightning and he has a crazy big hammer, Mjolnir. Imagine the kind of stuff you could do on dates... fly around the world…. Lightning show…even try to lift his hammer… try on his cape…

Harnessing the power of lightning for your simple amusement...  

However on the other hand, this means Thor has the potential to be a royal pain, so to speak. He can be extremely arrogant, I mean he is a GOD, so he thinks he's entitled to some stuff... like how he completely disregarded what his dad told him and decided to ruin the already shaky truce with the Frost Giants and hurtled the Asgardians into another war… that was kinda sucky of him. And if he is willing to disobey his FATHER- ODIN, man, he isn’t going to be afraid of you, either! What if he tries to make you fight him on your dates, or God forbid, LEAVE YOU to go start something with someone/thing that is just trying to do their do!? He can get kinda pushy with the “I am the God of Thunder” stuff, so that can be a turn off.

Another downside to being an Asgardian is that he has Mead Hall Manners (yes, I just made up that phrase…). He comes from a place where they eat in Mead Halls, so he’ll be loud and ill-mannered at dinner- not because he hates you or anything, but that’s just how they do in his home! Smashing cups, throwing food, drinking yourself silly, and probably not using utensils….EVER.  It could be fun… until you want to try eating out for a change (you got tired of cleaning the mashed potatoes off the wall of your apartment…). Then, you are just asking for trouble, unless you find a place that allows all of that…which would be kind of awesome…

Anyways, what you may not know about our lovely Viking is that after he was banished to Earth, he was sentenced to share a body with some dude named Donald Blake. So if Thor ever needed to …like...go to the store to buy mini frosted donuts, he would just bust out of Blake and get his miniature, holed pastries on! And guess what? His alter-ego, Blake, was a doctor! And doctors are always nice to have around! They can make you feel better when you’re sick, if you get married, they can support you and maybe they’ll be able to get you some seriously great benefits from their high paying jobs!   

Also, (how have I not mentioned this already?) he is freaking beautiful. Chris Hemsworth played Thor in the movie adaptation and well…

Mhmm….

He is seriously good looking and he has a cape.

So, the totals are:

Good:

1.     Handsome

2.     Doctor Alter-Ego

3.     Crazy cool Viking powers

Bad:

1.     Dude be full of himself

2.     If only his table manners were as good as his hair…

Even though he’s not the God of Pie charts, I’m sure he would still approve…

Up next, we have Lord of the Fish: Aquaman!

And to be completely honest.... we found Aquaman.... not all that dateable.....

To quote Raj Koothrappali from The Big Bang Theory: "I don't want to be Aquaman! He sucks! He sucks underwater! He sucks fish pee!"


As much as I hate to admit it, how Aquaman became Aquaman, according to the original story, is actually pretty cool. His father was a brilliant scientist who stumbled upon the lost city of Atlantis, and holed himself up in the palace in an air tight container and studied the devices and culture of the lost civilization. He then taught his young son the secret lost arts of Atlantis. Separating oxygen from the water, swimming super fast and talking to the sea life... so he became Aquaman from learning and science.... kinda legit. This means he must actually be pretty brilliant if he LEARNED how to do it...

They haven’t made a movie out of Aquaman, however they HAVE tried to make a TV series.  And it didn't make it past the pilot.  So it's a fair assumption that it wasn't that good.  I guess we can assume Aquaman was  attractive… I mean the guy who played him in the pilot was pretty handsome:

Does Aquaman have gills? At first, yes. Then...maybe? Are gills attractive? Only if you want them to be...

Hey, Baby....

Also, what is up with his choice of costume? He kinda looks like a carrot. I get the "goldfish scale" orange top part, but his green tights along with that.... not so much... so he really needs some help with fashion sense... maybe you could help a brother out!

From what I’ve gathered, however, all Aquaman can do is like... call fish to do his bidding... Which could be cool... make some mackerels attack you...

hehe... MACKEREL ATTACK!!!!

Except when it's piranhas.... that would be freaking scary... (word to the wise: do NOT google piranha attack....) So breathing underwater, talking with fish, and swimming really fast...he also uses a trident sometimes... he probably uses that to poke things with....

Those sexy fish powers in action…

We would also like to point out that Aquaman is known as a sucky superhero. Like, there are MULTIPLE Facebook pages dedicated to the suckiness of Aquaman. It probably has to do with how as part of the Super Friends, he either watched the fort, or was kidnapped for most of the time... because everyone else had powers usable outside of water... so he just pretty much... chilled at the headquarters... So I guess that means he really is kind of useless in land/space fights. Unless he starts poking people with his trident... 

He lives underwater so you would only be able to see him A) when he decides to stop by land, and B) when you go scuba diving….or if you can hold your breath for a really long time… Along with  that that downside, he will definitely pick his ocean kingdom over you. Sucks, right? With great fish powers comes great fish responsibilities... and that means that his ocean kingdom must come first. So he's probably busy with like... oil spills... melting glaciers.... shark and whale conflict resolution... all the really important stuff...

Although, he does have a sweet ride...

So to sum it all up:

Good:

1. kinda brilliant

2. supposedly handsome

3. sweet ride

4. Pretty strong/ good swimmer

Bad:

1. suck powers

2. lives underwater (and you can't)

3.  super busy with... fish king stuff...

4. Weird Costume

5. mostly useless in battle out of water

Things we won't hold against you (unless you want us to *wink*):

1.Possible Gills?

3.14% of sailors are PI-rates..... haha...yeah... math joke.... here's the freaking pie chart....

We've heard a lot about how the new Aquaman is getting awesome or something...well...we'll always remember him as Suck-quaman in our hearts.... 

Until Next Time On the Dateable Blog! Don't forget to be awesome!!

Disney Princes Part 1

Hey there! This week we're talking about the ever popular topic: which Disney prince would be most dateable? We know this has been done a plethora of times, but we figured it was about time we added our humble opinions to the mix. First up, we have Prince Philip from Sleeping Beauty.

Well, Princess Aroura [AKA Briar Rose (AKA Sleeping Beauty)] has gotten herself all up in a mess by falling under a spell and being put to sleep for years and years. The fairies decided that they should just put everyone else to sleep too, so that it's.... fair? I don't really know, but maybe I just need to re-watch it. Anyways, somehow the lovely Prince Philip, who has a stellar singing voice FYI, didn't get put to sleep and has decided to free the princess from the horrible spell... but this guy is familiar... wait just a sec! They've already met! Once upon a dream? Nope, straight up in the forest. He decided to sing along with the princess in a slightly epic, yet slightly terrifying manner. How would you feel if you were jammin' in the woods and some random dude found you and started singing along?

Awkwaaaard.....

I guess it wasn't terrifying, just a little creepy. Although, he was trying to be all friendly and stuff about it, but still... but wait, he was also the kid in the beginning that thought the princess was icky! They are meant to be together, apparently, but neither of them knew that in the forest... So anyways, everyone is asleep, Philip fights the crazy witch/ DRAGON (I'd like to see price Eric do that...) and finally decides to wake up the pretty, pretty princess by kissing her... was it just normal back then to kiss random princesses if they're under a spell? Heck, just people or things in general, like the frog prince? So remember children, if you think someone is under a spell, just lay it on them, and you'll have saved their life!!!... or get a restraining order against you.....

Well, hello there....

We found Prince Philip to be....... DATEABLE. I mean he likes to sing and dance in the forest, that's rather fun and adventurous. It makes him seem like a light-hearted, carefree kind of guy. Heck he'll even dance with his dad!

Aw, so cute! He is super courageous since he freaking killed a crazy powerful witch/ dragon that was breathing fire at him and junk! He probably should have said "hello" to miss Briar Rose before getting all up in her business, so we can see he's a little forward, plus the whole imma-kiss-you-on-the-lips-even-though-you-don't-know-me thing... but it's whatev. He likes to hold conversations with his horse because that's how he rolls. He seems to have some boy-ish charm as well: fun-loving and happy. So let's total the score.
Good:
1. carefree and fun
2. good singer/ dancer
3. brave and adventurous
4. handsome (that just comes with Disney princes, right?)
5. boyish charm
Bad:
1. kind of forward


And since it's the week of Thanksgiving (the US holiday where we pretty much eat because we can and are thankful for it), our pie charts are PIES!!!!!

Well there you have it: a prince that will dance his way into your heart. Next up, we have Prince Eric from The Little Mermaid!

Our princess, Ariel, is a mermaid that lives under the sea in a giant palace not too far from a land kingdom, where we find Prince Eric. He apparently likes to go sailing, since he is out at sea and falls overboard. Ariel, who wishes to be human, saves Prince Eric from drowning and sings to him until he starts to regain consciousness.

What the heck happened to his pants that they got that tatters falling off a ship??

So Eric wants to marry the mystery girl who sang to him and rescued him from drowning. The only problem is, when Ariel finally gets her wish to be human, she sacrificed her voice to Ursula, the giant sea-witch. So he finds Ariel and takes her to his palace where they tal- oh wait... they don't talk... but they do go on a lovely romantic boat ride where they stare at each other and almost kiss. So you would kiss a girl that you just met and has never said a word to you, let alone had a conversation with you? Regardless of laryngitis or whatever he thought might have been going on, isn't that kind of...forward or socially awkward or something? Can we just play this scenario out for a second?

Girl: ....
Boy: So.... seen any good movies lately?
Girl: ....
Boy: Yeah... heh... I uh... I just saw Thor... That was... that was good... *cough*
Girl: ....
Boy: ....
Girl: ....
Boy: *leans over and kisses girl*
Girl: What are you doing!? Stop!!
Boy: Oh... uh ...sorry.. I uh... thought you wanted to....
Girl: I haven't said a thing to you all night and you think that means I want to make out?
Boy:..... The crab told me to!!


Although, I will say the subliminal messages from all the talking animals might have made him act on feelings he may not have acted on otherwise.... and okay, sure we can accept body language as an indicator that Ariel wanted to kiss him I guess. She was making a lot of kissy faces at him... Although, he doesn't know her, so why is he so hyped to kiss her face? They've never even talked about themselves. He JUST found out her name! Okay, i guess he's a dude, and dudes like to kiss pretty girls, so there's always that... but wouldn't it be awkward when she never says anything? Do awkward situations = romantic feelings for Eric? Maybe that's why he doesn't want to marry her... I think the whole scenario is pretty wacked out, but I thought I would rant on it a bit.
 He is pretty romantic, though, for coming up with a moonlit boat ride. Very clever, Eric... plus he was pretty good at talking to Ariel even though she couldn't reply. He used his princely charms to woo her and still add some levity to the situation.
But once Ursula appears with a new body and Ariel's voice, the prince dips out and pursues "Vanessa". Whoa! changing your mind pretty rapidly there huh, princy? I can only assume from this that Eric either a) has no experience with women, or b) has a LOT of experience with women... you're choice. Either way, he thinks he has finally found his perfect woman and wants to marry her. Dang, dump the chick you were just going to kiss for some chick with a sweet pair of vocal chords.... is it just me or is he a little bit flouncy? This fickle guy is trying to find his perfect lady, and ladies usually aren't perfect, so he's going for as close as he can. He knows Vanessa for a really, REALLY short time and they decide to wed. Whoa... this guy is stoked to get married, huh? That, or he just doesn't believe in long relationships if he isn't going to marry the person, and if he is, then it's happening ASAP. 
But Eric is pretty easy going, I mean, when he's with Ariel, he let's her drive the carriage, he just laughs it off when their romantic boat gets flipped over, and he thinks it's funny how she uses all the human things wrong, mostly the pipe when she blows soot and tobacco all over Grimsby... so he also has a sense of humor.

Good:
1. Romantic
2. Pretty charming
3. Easy going
4. Sense of humor
5. Gotta throw in that handsome Disney Prince-ness


Bad: 
1. Perfectionist with women
2. Moves rather quickly in relationships
3. Submits to peer pressure from crabs/ other aquatic animals


So so so so so here is your pie chart my little love muffins!

And there you have it! Join us next time for our next riveting adventure in the Dateable Blog!

WLIIA?

Now honeycakes, I realize that you might be confused by the title of this post. Remember the lovable show "Whose Line is it Anyway?"? Bet you never considered dating one of 'em, huh? I sure hadn't... until this blog. But I now realize that old, funny, balding men need lovin' too, and you could be the one to give it to them. We will begin our search with Drew Carey. Here's a picture of him when he wasn't so old.

We found Drew to be....QUESTIONABLE

Yep, believe or not, that is Drew Carey. He was born and raised in the midwest, Ohio to be exact. Just had to give a shoutout to my home...region? Did you know he was in the Marine Corps Reserves? So maybe this dude could protect you or something. He only went to the marines after he was expelled out of college...twice. But college isn't for everyone, he's pretty successful without a degree. This man could make you laugh, but could he feed you? I don't know. Probably, seeing as how he has a new show like every three freaking years... nope whose line was definately the best of the best... I'm not trying to be judgmental but he isn't that good looking. Which honestly doesn't matter that much in real life, but speaking hypethically, that is the deciding factor. Also did you hear that laugh? I'm sorry, but it sounds like this annoying kid I know from high school... He-yah he-yah he-yah!!! UGH! Next Please!!

Good
1. Pretty dang funny
2. Take somebody down for you

Bad

1. Kinda...not attractive
2. Annoying laugh

And here's a pie chart!

Up next we have Colin Mochrie!

I couldn't find a good picture of him when he was younger:( .... but what if he ALWAYS looked this way.... :o

Yes, We are photoshop masters.....

oh wait, here he is! 

We found Colin to be.....DATEABLE.

He was born in freaking Scotland!! That's so stinking cool! That right there is reason enough to date him, at least for a little while. He then moved to Canada. This smarty-pants graduated high school first in his class. He went through a theatre school and also graduated from there. While he worked on "Whose Line?" he never missed a single episode, that's dedication right there. Something that he could apply to the relationship maybe. Truth be told, this fellow is not really attractive at all. But you still love him anyway. Although, you KNOW I LOVE me some bald men.... so kudos for that...

Good
1.He was born in Scotland
2. He's a little egghead
3. Pretty dang dedicated

Bad
1. Ugly

Read 'em and weep.

Up next we have Ryan Stiles!

We found Ryan to be.... UNKNOWN

Sorry to disappoint, but this man was just too dangfangled confusing to decide if he was dateable or not. There were so many good and not so good qualities about him. Ryan was born in America but then moved to Canada. What is it with all these funny people moving to Canada? He is a high school drop-out so that he could try and get a career in comedy. Come on dude! Just finish it, he was 17 so you know he was close to being done anyway. This could show some problems in your potential relationship, he might have problems with commitment. Ryan is pretty big, stand about 6"6'. So ladies don't worry about him being shorter than you...unless you are a giant.

Good
1. He is tall.
Bad
1. High school drop out

Last one!

DBZ Dateable Saga Part 4 (One Month Anniversary Edition)

It's our one month anniversary!!! Aren't you excited??? We certainly are!! I mean we're freaking like this kid!

And that is an excited child... Anyways...


Last time on the Dateable Blog, we classified three more of your favorite characters from the series Dragon Ball Z! The adventure continues today, my little fudge muffins, and guess what? IT'S SAIYAN TIME!!! First up we have our favorite bald saiyan.... Nappa!

Mandy thinks Nappa is a sexy beast. He is her ideal man, just so you guys know… she especially loves his bikini style armor. His thighs are delightful.


No, but in all seriousness, we found Nappa.... QUESTIONABLE? (also the above is not true... - Mandy)


What…. Is wrong with this man? He is ordered around by a little kid, albeit the young prince of his deceased race, but still, he is by Vegeta's side, ALWAYS. Until he gets dead. His moustache is pretty epic, and his voice is pretty annoying, he sends too many mixed signals: big and strong, but stupid and annoying. His thighs are as big around as you're whole abdomen, but hey, if that's what you're into...


So in case you lost count:


Good
1. Strong
2. Cool moustache


Bad
1. Annoying
2. Follows a 6 year old around until he's 30...


Traits we won't hold against you (unless you want us to...*wink, wink*)
1. Crazy huge thighs
2. Bikini armor


It's PIE time we had a PIE CHART up in here!!!

So yeah, that dude be questionable... anyways on to the next one!!! On to the next one!  Hold up, Freeze! Somebody bring me back some money, please!!!! oh... sorry- spontaneous dance parties going on..... so the next epic dude we have up is (FUTURE) Trunks!!!!!

We are referring to the Trunks that came back from the crazy future when the androids destroyed the world and it was bad and he was epic and had a cool sword. Yeah...not the one that's growing up in the future we see in Dragon Ball Z. Anyways we found future Trunks to be......DATEABLE!!!!


Like his father, his hair be fly. He has a schweet sword and his one and only purpose in life is to bring peace to the world, no matter which dimension. That is dedication, ladies and gents. After he goes back to the future (not the 80s movie) he could totally date you, and you both could fix the world together!  How awesome is that? He likes smoothies and long walks on the beach, which makes him perfect boyfriend material. Besides, he's DANG cute. He does have a bowl cut....but to be honest, the verdict is in and he is the only person that could ever pull off a bowl cut. Seriously, people, his hair is PURPLE!!! SO EPIC!! Only bad thing that we can't really confirm might be that he would POSSIBLY have some emotional problems about not having enough time with his father and all of the heroes in his world dying leaving him to fend for the human race virtually by himself (besides his sweet time machine, courtesy of mom), but we can always guess that he is a resilient young lad that will keep the memory of his father in his heart.... or just time travel and see him occasionally.... also just to freak his alternate self out. That would be amusing...


Good
1. Super Cute
2. Epic Sword
3. Dedicated Hero
4. Purple Hair AND Can TOTALLY Pull Off a Bowl Cut
5. Time Travel Abilities


Bad
1. Maybe some emotional baggage...


Just so you know, this next graphic WILL be a pie chart and WILL look like pink Pacman...

So yeah, cute and epic kid, but what about the daddy? Get ready for THE PRINCE OF ALL SAIYANS!!!! Vegeta!!

Basically, from the start, he's a BA MoFo.  And that’s all you need to know. I mean, look at him rocking this bright pink shirt!

But really, we found Vegeta..... DATEABLE!! He got swag.  Although he's really, REALLY, I mean ASTRONOMICALLY arrogant and thinks he knows everything, he's still pretty cool. He usually tries to do stuff by himself, especially at group gatherings, but he eventually joins (well, allies with) the gang more or less reluctantly, as with the other enemies Goku has met in the past that had some sort of morality or conscience (basically all of the "Z-fighters"), and by the end of the series he's definitely a better person. He has a family whom he has "grown fond of", which basically means in his way of speaking, a family that he totally loves hard core and would do anything for them.  But, even after settling down, he still maintains his awesomeness. And his hair is fly. Besides, who could forget?  IT'S OVER 9000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I would like to point out, however, .... well....two words... troll doll. Am I wrong? Can you honestly say that? Here:

Now, look me in the eye and tell me there is no resemblance.... go on!... That's what I thought... Although those things are creepy as all get out, the resemblance of creepiness only shows up now and then.... like so:

Yup... If a pictures says a thousand words, this picture tells a tale of everlasting nightmares and horror that you have never yet dreamt of....Or is that just me? It also might be that he was talking to a young child at the time of this shot, but this picture seems inherently creepy... 


However he was a pretty cute kid... I mean look at this!!

Awwwww! So incorrigible!!!


So the tally goes:


Good
1. He wore an epic, flowery pink shirt that had us all laughing hysterically 
2. Experiences character development (I love me some character development...)
3. Realizes Goku is not as epic as some people make him up to be (see our blog on Goku a-right here)
4. Totally loves his family (so cute!!)


Bad

1. Rather violent
2. He's a straight up rude (yes, rude is a noun here...)
3. Doesn't want to show his true feelings


Traits we won't hold against you (unless you want us to...*wink, wink*)
1. Slightly resembles a troll doll...(if you're into that kind of thing...)


Captain.... there be something on the horizon!!!!  PIE CHART, HOOOOOOOO!!!

Come back for the next exciting adventure in The Dateable Blog!!!!

DBZ Dateable Saga Part 3

Did you miss us?? 'Cuz we def missed you, you gorgeous sunflower seeds. Instead of bad boys of history, we go back to DBZ, because we know that you love cartoons more than real men. First character on our chopping block is Yamcha. Look at him and all his ruggedness!

We found Yamcha to be......UNDATEABLE.

Well, if you've seen the original Dragon Ball, you realize how far Yamcha has fallen. He used to be cool....kinda. I mean, he still got his bohunkus kicked by an 11 year kid on a regular basis, but he was better than he turned out at the end of the series. One reason he isn't the best boyfriend material is because he is so desperate for a girlfriend. This child was so thirsty for a chick he was going to use the all-powerful Dragon to wish for a girlfriend....really? Seriously dude, get a hobby. Then it took him 30 episodes to realize Bulma wanted a boyfriend. He is pretty special. Speaking of special, have you seen his hair? It looks ridiculous 85% of the time. The last reason he is undateable is because he is SO LAME!!! Like forreal. He's not very good at fighting, even worse than Krillin...and that's saying something. He's not all bad. He... tries.... to be good..... be just isn't. Remember the fight with the Saiyans? he was the first one to die of everyone that showed up... even the saibamen lasted longer..... but we will give him a point for just eventually giving up. Seriously. Well.... maybe just half a point... He realized he was absolutely no competition for his friends anymore, so he grows another really dumb hair style and tries to attract the lady types well into his forties with his rugged scars and flashy suits. Oh, did we mention his manly scars? Yep, those are sexy...I guess. Where did those come from again? They kind of never mentioned it.... Well it's here laid out for you in case you got lost.

Bad

1. Desperate

2. Lame
3. Not too bright
4. Literally afraid of females
5. Ridankadank hair


Good

1. Finally gave up (can this actually be considered good?) 1/2 point!
2. Scars?....?

And if this still isn't clear, here's a chart!

Someone in the series who was considered extremely hot, even if it was only for one episode, was Zarbon. What do we think?

We found Zarbon to be....UNKNOWN.

Sorry to disappoint my tasty little lemon drops, but we could not decide if Zarbon is worthy of you or not. He is very confusing. He seems a little…gay? Which is fine….if you are reading this and a man. But at the same time, is he? We can't tell. Also, he is supposedly extremely attractive. You know how when you were a kid you had those cartoon crushes, like Danny Phantom? Or was that just me.....anyhoo, this just doesn't cut it for me. He can transform into a bigger…. bumpy self? I guess he's pretty strong for the most part, which is actually really nice. He could protect you and stuff. But also take into account how for the whole time we know him, he's Freiza's little lap dog, doing all his bidding, flying off to cater to his every whim..... maybe if he's gay.... nevermind. More of that later. So all in all, everything bad cancels out everything good.

Good

1. He's pretty attractive.
2. He's strong.
   

Bad

1. We can't tell the sexual orientation of this man.
2. He's a dude who takes orders from a small.... man... thing

Attack of the Pie Chart!!

And here we are with the last questionable character, Krillin. Warning, picture rated PG for scary expression.

We found Krillin to be...UNDATEABLE.

He tries to be a hero but...well...he kinda fails...at every endeavor he tries. Well, at least most of them... He has horrible taste in girls. Remember Marron? Yeah. So if he likes you, watch out. Also he is pretty desperate. He once tried to date a little Indian boy...but I guess we can't blame him because he thought it was a girl. No matter the situation, Krillin tries to get out of it because he is scared. Ladies and gentlemen, do you really want someone who is too scared to protect you? I thought not. He has no hair and no nose. That may be upsetting for you (as it is traumatizing for me), unless noses annoy you, then hey, go for it. But maybe we're being to hasty. Maybe his looks will vastly improve with hair...

....nope. But maybe looks don't matter and that's all that counts (and at least its not a bowl cut...). Putting all physical attractiveness aside, Krillin still doesn't have a lot going for him. Let us count the ways.

Bad
1. He doesn't have a nose.
2. He's incredible desperate.
3. He's a coward.

Good
1. Sometimes he tries to be brave...

Hit me up with a pie chart, homegirl!

And there you have it. Join us next time, for the exciting adventures of The Dateable Blog!

Dateable Dictators Part 1

Alright, class is in session. Today, we will be discussing the dateability of dictators, revolutionaries, and historical bad boys. Yes, my little cran-apple muffins, dictators are a fundamentally undateable group based solely on moral principles, but let’s go back…. Back into time…before they all were ruthless, heartless dictators… to a time when they were younger and more impressionable, exploring the world and all the opportunities it held for them! Plus, they were far more attractive back then. Forward, March!

When I told Mandy that I wanted to put Che Guevara on here, she was thinking of THIS picture:

However, I was thinking of THIS picture:

Different, right?

Ernesto (Che) Guevara was a revolutionary who engaged in guerrilla warfare in three different countries all located in three different continents. This man got around! When he was a young man, he was well read. He has an eclectic taste in school: His favorite subjects ranged from mathematics to philosophy to archeology. He enjoyed the strategy involved in chess from the young age of 12, and kept notebooks on ideas and concepts similar to those of Nietzsche, Freud, and London. He really enjoyed the classics such as Jules Verne and William Faulkner. Plus, he liked poetry, ladies, so this guy was a romantic. Pablo Neruda, John Keats, and Walt Whitman were some of his faves. Guevara was also quiet athletic. He loved to swim, play football (or soccer if that's what you want to call it), golf, cycling, and of course, rugby. This guy was a BEAST at rugby.

We found the young, non-revolution-starting Guevara to be DATEABLE.

He was interested in many different academic pursuits, which goes in a point for the dateable because hey, you'll probably have common interests you can talk about for hours and hours on the telephone. And what you don't know about, he can teach you! Who knows how much time you would spend together doing new and exciting things! He likes poetry, so he could read some romantic prose by Keats to you as you stroll on a quiet, moonlit beach. ¡Qué romántico! One thing that may not be so dateable is the fact that he spent a lot of time forming his philosophy of life in those notebooks of his, he might lock himself up a lot to read a write instead of chillin' with his boo (that's you, honey). Also he might try to start a fight with you.... I mean.... that's like... what he does. All over the world. so that's not a good point either....

Dateable Points:

• Well rounded, common interests
• Romantic
• Sporty

Undateable

• Hermit-esque?
• Likes fighting/ battling it out

So, my little chocolate dumplings, let's get our graphic representation on!

Guevara was kind of a nerd, but at the same time he was really a Renaissance man... then he grew a beard and started revolutions across the globe...

Our next contender for the title of "dateable" is the ever popular Joseph Stalin.

What you think of:

What WE think of:

Joseph Stalin was born Loseb Besarionis dze Jughashvili (whoa. try saying that 10 times fast...). At the age of seven he contracted smallpox, which permanently scarred his face :( but as the picture above illustrates, he still became a rather dashing young lad! :D He attended the Georgian Orthodox seminary where he acquired the nickname "Koba" from a story sort of like Robinhood. Obviously, he enjoyed the idea of helping the unfortunate and redistributing wealth (wink, wink). It's even said that he started a Socialism study group in school (shouldn't they have seen the whole "future dictator" thing coming?). After reading some literature by Lenin (Literature by Lenin...sounds kinda like a PBS program...), our little Loseb decided to become a revolutionary. Yup, he became a full-time Bolshevik and outlaw; He spent his time spreading propaganda,instigating strikes, and raising money.  Oh, and by "raising money" we mean bank robberies, collecting ransom from kidnappings, extortion, in short, he was a freaking bandit. That or a gangster (not to ever be confused with "gangsta"... pretty sure he wasn't one of those). He adopted the name "Stalin", from the Russian word for steel. Don't know what "Jughashvili" comes from, but "steel" seems to fit his socialism goal pretty well... working man.... bourgeois.... proletariat... you know the drill. Stalin was captured and sent to Siberia seven, count 'em, seven times, but escaped pretty much every time he was sent to the frozen wasteland that is Siberia. Wanna see Siberia?

Yeah.... ouch. Who wouldn't want to escape?

So, we found our dear Loseb to be.... DATEABLE.

He did do some pretty messed up stuff for the Bolsheviks (who have a pretty sweet title... booolsheviks...), but he definately was dedicated to a cause he believed in, so what kind of things whould he do for you? If he's dedicated to your relationship he would do anything for you, which is really sweet, right? However, one thing not so dateable is that as a child, Stalin grew up in a town where the police force was weak, and street fighting was a common thing. What if he became agressive or taught your hypothetical children that street fighting was appropriate? Not a good situation. He did, however, like the ideals of supporting the less fortunate (perhaps because of the background of danger and abuse he faced as a helpless child), so he was all for the working man and making life good. Communism isn't necessary a bad IDEA, but in practice, it never works out well. Hunger for power is just part of human nature.  He was obviously extrememly intelligent and resourceful since he escaped the same place numerous times. You think the guards would know to keep an eye on him, or at least expect SOMETHING.  "Oh no, Look Vlad, Stalin's back, he's already found 93 ways to escape this month.... i wonder what it will be this time..."

So, let's tally the points!

Dateable:

• Dedication
• Supported the working man (and perhaps the working woman)
• Freaking Smart

Undateable:

• Violence

So, my little sugar plums, it's GRAPH TIME!!!

And there you have it! Tune in next time for our next exciting adventure in the Dateable Blog!!