DBZ Dateable Saga Part 4 (One Month Anniversary Edition)

It's our one month anniversary!!! Aren't you excited??? We certainly are!! I mean we're freaking like this kid!

And that is an excited child... Anyways...


Last time on the Dateable Blog, we classified three more of your favorite characters from the series Dragon Ball Z! The adventure continues today, my little fudge muffins, and guess what? IT'S SAIYAN TIME!!! First up we have our favorite bald saiyan.... Nappa!

Mandy thinks Nappa is a sexy beast. He is her ideal man, just so you guys know… she especially loves his bikini style armor. His thighs are delightful.


No, but in all seriousness, we found Nappa.... QUESTIONABLE? (also the above is not true... - Mandy)


What…. Is wrong with this man? He is ordered around by a little kid, albeit the young prince of his deceased race, but still, he is by Vegeta's side, ALWAYS. Until he gets dead. His moustache is pretty epic, and his voice is pretty annoying, he sends too many mixed signals: big and strong, but stupid and annoying. His thighs are as big around as you're whole abdomen, but hey, if that's what you're into...


So in case you lost count:


Good
1. Strong
2. Cool moustache


Bad
1. Annoying
2. Follows a 6 year old around until he's 30...


Traits we won't hold against you (unless you want us to...*wink, wink*)
1. Crazy huge thighs
2. Bikini armor


It's PIE time we had a PIE CHART up in here!!!

So yeah, that dude be questionable... anyways on to the next one!!! On to the next one!  Hold up, Freeze! Somebody bring me back some money, please!!!! oh... sorry- spontaneous dance parties going on..... so the next epic dude we have up is (FUTURE) Trunks!!!!!

We are referring to the Trunks that came back from the crazy future when the androids destroyed the world and it was bad and he was epic and had a cool sword. Yeah...not the one that's growing up in the future we see in Dragon Ball Z. Anyways we found future Trunks to be......DATEABLE!!!!


Like his father, his hair be fly. He has a schweet sword and his one and only purpose in life is to bring peace to the world, no matter which dimension. That is dedication, ladies and gents. After he goes back to the future (not the 80s movie) he could totally date you, and you both could fix the world together!  How awesome is that? He likes smoothies and long walks on the beach, which makes him perfect boyfriend material. Besides, he's DANG cute. He does have a bowl cut....but to be honest, the verdict is in and he is the only person that could ever pull off a bowl cut. Seriously, people, his hair is PURPLE!!! SO EPIC!! Only bad thing that we can't really confirm might be that he would POSSIBLY have some emotional problems about not having enough time with his father and all of the heroes in his world dying leaving him to fend for the human race virtually by himself (besides his sweet time machine, courtesy of mom), but we can always guess that he is a resilient young lad that will keep the memory of his father in his heart.... or just time travel and see him occasionally.... also just to freak his alternate self out. That would be amusing...


Good
1. Super Cute
2. Epic Sword
3. Dedicated Hero
4. Purple Hair AND Can TOTALLY Pull Off a Bowl Cut
5. Time Travel Abilities


Bad
1. Maybe some emotional baggage...


Just so you know, this next graphic WILL be a pie chart and WILL look like pink Pacman...

So yeah, cute and epic kid, but what about the daddy? Get ready for THE PRINCE OF ALL SAIYANS!!!! Vegeta!!

Basically, from the start, he's a BA MoFo.  And that’s all you need to know. I mean, look at him rocking this bright pink shirt!

But really, we found Vegeta..... DATEABLE!! He got swag.  Although he's really, REALLY, I mean ASTRONOMICALLY arrogant and thinks he knows everything, he's still pretty cool. He usually tries to do stuff by himself, especially at group gatherings, but he eventually joins (well, allies with) the gang more or less reluctantly, as with the other enemies Goku has met in the past that had some sort of morality or conscience (basically all of the "Z-fighters"), and by the end of the series he's definitely a better person. He has a family whom he has "grown fond of", which basically means in his way of speaking, a family that he totally loves hard core and would do anything for them.  But, even after settling down, he still maintains his awesomeness. And his hair is fly. Besides, who could forget?  IT'S OVER 9000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I would like to point out, however, .... well....two words... troll doll. Am I wrong? Can you honestly say that? Here:

Now, look me in the eye and tell me there is no resemblance.... go on!... That's what I thought... Although those things are creepy as all get out, the resemblance of creepiness only shows up now and then.... like so:

Yup... If a pictures says a thousand words, this picture tells a tale of everlasting nightmares and horror that you have never yet dreamt of....Or is that just me? It also might be that he was talking to a young child at the time of this shot, but this picture seems inherently creepy... 


However he was a pretty cute kid... I mean look at this!!

Awwwww! So incorrigible!!!


So the tally goes:


Good
1. He wore an epic, flowery pink shirt that had us all laughing hysterically 
2. Experiences character development (I love me some character development...)
3. Realizes Goku is not as epic as some people make him up to be (see our blog on Goku a-right here)
4. Totally loves his family (so cute!!)


Bad

1. Rather violent
2. He's a straight up rude (yes, rude is a noun here...)
3. Doesn't want to show his true feelings


Traits we won't hold against you (unless you want us to...*wink, wink*)
1. Slightly resembles a troll doll...(if you're into that kind of thing...)


Captain.... there be something on the horizon!!!!  PIE CHART, HOOOOOOOO!!!

Come back for the next exciting adventure in The Dateable Blog!!!!

DBZ Dateable Saga Part 3

Did you miss us?? 'Cuz we def missed you, you gorgeous sunflower seeds. Instead of bad boys of history, we go back to DBZ, because we know that you love cartoons more than real men. First character on our chopping block is Yamcha. Look at him and all his ruggedness!

We found Yamcha to be......UNDATEABLE.

Well, if you've seen the original Dragon Ball, you realize how far Yamcha has fallen. He used to be cool....kinda. I mean, he still got his bohunkus kicked by an 11 year kid on a regular basis, but he was better than he turned out at the end of the series. One reason he isn't the best boyfriend material is because he is so desperate for a girlfriend. This child was so thirsty for a chick he was going to use the all-powerful Dragon to wish for a girlfriend....really? Seriously dude, get a hobby. Then it took him 30 episodes to realize Bulma wanted a boyfriend. He is pretty special. Speaking of special, have you seen his hair? It looks ridiculous 85% of the time. The last reason he is undateable is because he is SO LAME!!! Like forreal. He's not very good at fighting, even worse than Krillin...and that's saying something. He's not all bad. He... tries.... to be good..... be just isn't. Remember the fight with the Saiyans? he was the first one to die of everyone that showed up... even the saibamen lasted longer..... but we will give him a point for just eventually giving up. Seriously. Well.... maybe just half a point... He realized he was absolutely no competition for his friends anymore, so he grows another really dumb hair style and tries to attract the lady types well into his forties with his rugged scars and flashy suits. Oh, did we mention his manly scars? Yep, those are sexy...I guess. Where did those come from again? They kind of never mentioned it.... Well it's here laid out for you in case you got lost.

Bad

1. Desperate

2. Lame
3. Not too bright
4. Literally afraid of females
5. Ridankadank hair


Good

1. Finally gave up (can this actually be considered good?) 1/2 point!
2. Scars?....?

And if this still isn't clear, here's a chart!

Someone in the series who was considered extremely hot, even if it was only for one episode, was Zarbon. What do we think?

We found Zarbon to be....UNKNOWN.

Sorry to disappoint my tasty little lemon drops, but we could not decide if Zarbon is worthy of you or not. He is very confusing. He seems a little…gay? Which is fine….if you are reading this and a man. But at the same time, is he? We can't tell. Also, he is supposedly extremely attractive. You know how when you were a kid you had those cartoon crushes, like Danny Phantom? Or was that just me.....anyhoo, this just doesn't cut it for me. He can transform into a bigger…. bumpy self? I guess he's pretty strong for the most part, which is actually really nice. He could protect you and stuff. But also take into account how for the whole time we know him, he's Freiza's little lap dog, doing all his bidding, flying off to cater to his every whim..... maybe if he's gay.... nevermind. More of that later. So all in all, everything bad cancels out everything good.

Good

1. He's pretty attractive.
2. He's strong.
   

Bad

1. We can't tell the sexual orientation of this man.
2. He's a dude who takes orders from a small.... man... thing

Attack of the Pie Chart!!

And here we are with the last questionable character, Krillin. Warning, picture rated PG for scary expression.

We found Krillin to be...UNDATEABLE.

He tries to be a hero but...well...he kinda fails...at every endeavor he tries. Well, at least most of them... He has horrible taste in girls. Remember Marron? Yeah. So if he likes you, watch out. Also he is pretty desperate. He once tried to date a little Indian boy...but I guess we can't blame him because he thought it was a girl. No matter the situation, Krillin tries to get out of it because he is scared. Ladies and gentlemen, do you really want someone who is too scared to protect you? I thought not. He has no hair and no nose. That may be upsetting for you (as it is traumatizing for me), unless noses annoy you, then hey, go for it. But maybe we're being to hasty. Maybe his looks will vastly improve with hair...

....nope. But maybe looks don't matter and that's all that counts (and at least its not a bowl cut...). Putting all physical attractiveness aside, Krillin still doesn't have a lot going for him. Let us count the ways.

Bad
1. He doesn't have a nose.
2. He's incredible desperate.
3. He's a coward.

Good
1. Sometimes he tries to be brave...

Hit me up with a pie chart, homegirl!

And there you have it. Join us next time, for the exciting adventures of The Dateable Blog!

DBZ Dateable Saga Part 2

Last time on our adventures with the Dateable and NonDateables of Dragon Ball Z, we left off after discussing two of our main characters. Now, my precious little sugarplums, we move on to the stoic Tien Shinhan....

We found Tien Shinhan to be....DATEABLE.

He's bald and serious. But that's okay. Bald men are shmexxy. He's like Vin Diesel or Bruce Willis. Even though he cares for a small man-child...like, a really strange attachment....what are they to each other? How did they meet? Is Chiaotzu competition? That may be the one flaw in this situation. Can you imagine a dinner date? You tryna get to know the man, you get caught in a freaky situation where you end up being the third wheel. Besides that, Tien is all good. Remember when Launch tried to date him, and he didn't care? That was awesome. He doesn't mind if you're a little bit psycho...or a lot psycho...just be your crazy self who likes to shoot people and has a serious personality disorder. Besides, who knows, maybe if you were at least resembling normal, he might actually like you more! Also, Tien is just so hard-core! To win a game, he flippin' broke somebody's leg. Dang, if he did that just to win a competition, imagine what he would do for you.

Alright, let's break it down for you, point system style.

Dateable Points:

1. bald and shmexxy


2. doesn't mind crazies


3. he is TOTALLY hard core

Undateable Points:

1. Creepy man-child attachment

So for those of you who need help that's 3 good points versus 1... interesting bad point. Which is demonstrated by this snazzy graph:

And there you have it my dear sugar blossoms. plain and simple.

Next up, we have a small creature with red cheeks. No, not Pikachu... It's Chiaotzu!!

We found Chiaotzu to be UNDATEABLE.

He's a little creepy....wait did I say little? I meant a buttload. Like he just stares at people. And has he ever had a change in expression the whole time? the WHOLE series? I think not. He only has one hair. Why just ONE? Shave that sucker off...although that would be easy maintenance...wouldn't even have to brush it. Plus, there are some troubling questions that one would have to find out the answers to before they started dating him. For one, what is he? Is he human or some kind of animated doll? Freaky. Also, does he wear make up? His morning routine would be longer than yours. We just don't know...He's also kind of like a clown. Yup. Although he DOES hang out with Tien, so he's got some cute friends going on, and since Tien is so cool, maybe there is something we failed to see in Chiaotzu that could be a total plus... maybe he's an awesome dancer, or tells really epic jokes, or maybe he just got some swag! We just don't know...

So to total up these points, we got:

Undateable:

1. Super creepy by staring a lot


2. we don't know what he is


3. he wears more make up than you (potentially)

Dateable:

1. Has cool friends so there is potential for something in him.... somewhere.... that maybe we haven't seen...

That's 3 to 1 my friends! He's your swagalicious chart!!

And now, sadly, our last topic of discussion this time.... the ever famous turtle hermit himself...Master Roshi.

We found Master Roshi to be UNDATEABLE.

Ew. I feel like there isn't much to be argued here...He's just a dirty old pervert. If he be near a female that he finds attractive, he will tell her....by touching her butt...or other parts of her body. No, thank you sir. That is just unacceptable! Also he's an old man. Which, for some, would be fine if he was rich, but he isn't. So keep those touchy-fingers to yourself. I suppose you could try to come up with some good qualities about Master Roshi, but not only are those really... REALLY hard to find, but we're also rather sleep deprived college students, so sorting through hundreds of episodes for a reputable act.... isn't on the top of our lists. I guess you could say he is... a good teacher... and kind of wise... but that doesn't really do much for the dating spectrum of his personality.

So let's tally this up for you:

Undateable:

1. pervert


2. super old dude


3. bad influence on students, and children in general...

Dateable:.....???

Aaaaaaaaaaaand the judges call it............. 3 to 0!!!! It's unanimous folks! Undateable! PIE CHART THAT SUCKER!!!!

And by all means, my cute little sausage links, if you find a good reason to date Master Roshi, we would LOVE to hear it. Seriously.

Tune in next time for the next exciting adventure in The Dateable Blog!!!!

DBZ Dateable Saga Part 1

We mentioned we were nerds, right? And what kind of nerds would we be if we didn't like Dragon Ball Z? So, here is our take on the characters in this epic show full of battles and screaming.
Of course, we must start with our hero. Goku...

We found Goku to be... UNDATEABLE.
Why? You may ask. Well, there's a plethora of reasons.  He is a horrible father. Remember that time he told Gohan they would go fishing together before fighting Vegeta? And then they didn't go fishing together for like 4 or 5 years? Yeah, lame. So, that's strike number one. He's always leaving his family alone.  Always. We understand that he has to go fight things, and that is  noble, in fact we will even count that as a point of dateability, however, leaving his wife and only child for years at a time is unacceptable.
He always tardy to the party… so to speak. He is either dead, healing, traveling, or training when people need him and are dying, yo! Be there on time! Yes, he arrives and worries about the people who are in the slow, painful process of death before fighting the current enemy, but he probably could have prevented that by COMING SOONER. Strike number two.
He's pretty annoying, all he does is eat and fight.  He doesn’t know his own strength so be prepared to get chucked through a window, through a tree, and into a dirt pile ( Just ask Chi Chi).  He won't listen to any one's advice.  If he feels like doing it, he will, without considering the consequences to himself or anyone else. Also, where any of these may apply to other characters, they aren't supposed to be the super cool epic hero of the show, as opposed this this fellow...
Now, BE AMAZED AT OUR AMAZING PIE CHART!!!!

Obviously, the undateability is greater than the dateability. Not that Goku isn't a nice guy, but he just isn't boyfriend material.

ON TO THE NEXT ONE!!

Alright, my sweet little cupcakes, our next contender is the caped crusader: Piccolo!

We found Piccolo to be.... DATEABLE.

Let's face it, he's pretty super cool. He is green, and basically raises Gohan by himself. He's like a single mom or something, but totally awesome! (not that single moms aren't totally awesome, but how many single  moms do YOU know that can shoot lasers from their eyes? Exactly.) Whenever, I repeat, WHENEVER Gohan is in trouble and about to die, Piccolo is there to beat the crap out of somebody. It's true, he was pretty harsh on Gohan, and may seem anti social, but deep down, he's really a softy. He is from an alien race, like all the main characters in this series (pretty much) however his race doesn't have genders.... soo..... either way go for it. Back in Dragon Ball, he was known for his one liners, so we already know he's a funny guy, and when his tough guy facade get broken by something (usually Goku's stupidity) it's rather amusing.


SHOCK AND DISBELIEF!! ANOTHER PIE CHART!!!!!

 He's loyal. He's epic. He's green. He has a cape. 'nuff said.


Come back for the next exciting adventure in The Dateable Blog!!!!