DBZ Dateable Saga Part 3

Did you miss us?? 'Cuz we def missed you, you gorgeous sunflower seeds. Instead of bad boys of history, we go back to DBZ, because we know that you love cartoons more than real men. First character on our chopping block is Yamcha. Look at him and all his ruggedness!

We found Yamcha to be......UNDATEABLE.

Well, if you've seen the original Dragon Ball, you realize how far Yamcha has fallen. He used to be cool....kinda. I mean, he still got his bohunkus kicked by an 11 year kid on a regular basis, but he was better than he turned out at the end of the series. One reason he isn't the best boyfriend material is because he is so desperate for a girlfriend. This child was so thirsty for a chick he was going to use the all-powerful Dragon to wish for a girlfriend....really? Seriously dude, get a hobby. Then it took him 30 episodes to realize Bulma wanted a boyfriend. He is pretty special. Speaking of special, have you seen his hair? It looks ridiculous 85% of the time. The last reason he is undateable is because he is SO LAME!!! Like forreal. He's not very good at fighting, even worse than Krillin...and that's saying something. He's not all bad. He... tries.... to be good..... be just isn't. Remember the fight with the Saiyans? he was the first one to die of everyone that showed up... even the saibamen lasted longer..... but we will give him a point for just eventually giving up. Seriously. Well.... maybe just half a point... He realized he was absolutely no competition for his friends anymore, so he grows another really dumb hair style and tries to attract the lady types well into his forties with his rugged scars and flashy suits. Oh, did we mention his manly scars? Yep, those are sexy...I guess. Where did those come from again? They kind of never mentioned it.... Well it's here laid out for you in case you got lost.

Bad

1. Desperate

2. Lame
3. Not too bright
4. Literally afraid of females
5. Ridankadank hair


Good

1. Finally gave up (can this actually be considered good?) 1/2 point!
2. Scars?....?

And if this still isn't clear, here's a chart!

Someone in the series who was considered extremely hot, even if it was only for one episode, was Zarbon. What do we think?

We found Zarbon to be....UNKNOWN.

Sorry to disappoint my tasty little lemon drops, but we could not decide if Zarbon is worthy of you or not. He is very confusing. He seems a little…gay? Which is fine….if you are reading this and a man. But at the same time, is he? We can't tell. Also, he is supposedly extremely attractive. You know how when you were a kid you had those cartoon crushes, like Danny Phantom? Or was that just me.....anyhoo, this just doesn't cut it for me. He can transform into a bigger…. bumpy self? I guess he's pretty strong for the most part, which is actually really nice. He could protect you and stuff. But also take into account how for the whole time we know him, he's Freiza's little lap dog, doing all his bidding, flying off to cater to his every whim..... maybe if he's gay.... nevermind. More of that later. So all in all, everything bad cancels out everything good.

Good

1. He's pretty attractive.
2. He's strong.
   

Bad

1. We can't tell the sexual orientation of this man.
2. He's a dude who takes orders from a small.... man... thing

Attack of the Pie Chart!!

And here we are with the last questionable character, Krillin. Warning, picture rated PG for scary expression.

We found Krillin to be...UNDATEABLE.

He tries to be a hero but...well...he kinda fails...at every endeavor he tries. Well, at least most of them... He has horrible taste in girls. Remember Marron? Yeah. So if he likes you, watch out. Also he is pretty desperate. He once tried to date a little Indian boy...but I guess we can't blame him because he thought it was a girl. No matter the situation, Krillin tries to get out of it because he is scared. Ladies and gentlemen, do you really want someone who is too scared to protect you? I thought not. He has no hair and no nose. That may be upsetting for you (as it is traumatizing for me), unless noses annoy you, then hey, go for it. But maybe we're being to hasty. Maybe his looks will vastly improve with hair...

....nope. But maybe looks don't matter and that's all that counts (and at least its not a bowl cut...). Putting all physical attractiveness aside, Krillin still doesn't have a lot going for him. Let us count the ways.

Bad
1. He doesn't have a nose.
2. He's incredible desperate.
3. He's a coward.

Good
1. Sometimes he tries to be brave...

Hit me up with a pie chart, homegirl!

And there you have it. Join us next time, for the exciting adventures of The Dateable Blog!

Dateable Dictators Part 1

Alright, class is in session. Today, we will be discussing the dateability of dictators, revolutionaries, and historical bad boys. Yes, my little cran-apple muffins, dictators are a fundamentally undateable group based solely on moral principles, but let’s go back…. Back into time…before they all were ruthless, heartless dictators… to a time when they were younger and more impressionable, exploring the world and all the opportunities it held for them! Plus, they were far more attractive back then. Forward, March!

When I told Mandy that I wanted to put Che Guevara on here, she was thinking of THIS picture:

However, I was thinking of THIS picture:

Different, right?

Ernesto (Che) Guevara was a revolutionary who engaged in guerrilla warfare in three different countries all located in three different continents. This man got around! When he was a young man, he was well read. He has an eclectic taste in school: His favorite subjects ranged from mathematics to philosophy to archeology. He enjoyed the strategy involved in chess from the young age of 12, and kept notebooks on ideas and concepts similar to those of Nietzsche, Freud, and London. He really enjoyed the classics such as Jules Verne and William Faulkner. Plus, he liked poetry, ladies, so this guy was a romantic. Pablo Neruda, John Keats, and Walt Whitman were some of his faves. Guevara was also quiet athletic. He loved to swim, play football (or soccer if that's what you want to call it), golf, cycling, and of course, rugby. This guy was a BEAST at rugby.

We found the young, non-revolution-starting Guevara to be DATEABLE.

He was interested in many different academic pursuits, which goes in a point for the dateable because hey, you'll probably have common interests you can talk about for hours and hours on the telephone. And what you don't know about, he can teach you! Who knows how much time you would spend together doing new and exciting things! He likes poetry, so he could read some romantic prose by Keats to you as you stroll on a quiet, moonlit beach. ¡Qué romántico! One thing that may not be so dateable is the fact that he spent a lot of time forming his philosophy of life in those notebooks of his, he might lock himself up a lot to read a write instead of chillin' with his boo (that's you, honey). Also he might try to start a fight with you.... I mean.... that's like... what he does. All over the world. so that's not a good point either....

Dateable Points:

• Well rounded, common interests
• Romantic
• Sporty

Undateable

• Hermit-esque?
• Likes fighting/ battling it out

So, my little chocolate dumplings, let's get our graphic representation on!

Guevara was kind of a nerd, but at the same time he was really a Renaissance man... then he grew a beard and started revolutions across the globe...

Our next contender for the title of "dateable" is the ever popular Joseph Stalin.

What you think of:

What WE think of:

Joseph Stalin was born Loseb Besarionis dze Jughashvili (whoa. try saying that 10 times fast...). At the age of seven he contracted smallpox, which permanently scarred his face :( but as the picture above illustrates, he still became a rather dashing young lad! :D He attended the Georgian Orthodox seminary where he acquired the nickname "Koba" from a story sort of like Robinhood. Obviously, he enjoyed the idea of helping the unfortunate and redistributing wealth (wink, wink). It's even said that he started a Socialism study group in school (shouldn't they have seen the whole "future dictator" thing coming?). After reading some literature by Lenin (Literature by Lenin...sounds kinda like a PBS program...), our little Loseb decided to become a revolutionary. Yup, he became a full-time Bolshevik and outlaw; He spent his time spreading propaganda,instigating strikes, and raising money.  Oh, and by "raising money" we mean bank robberies, collecting ransom from kidnappings, extortion, in short, he was a freaking bandit. That or a gangster (not to ever be confused with "gangsta"... pretty sure he wasn't one of those). He adopted the name "Stalin", from the Russian word for steel. Don't know what "Jughashvili" comes from, but "steel" seems to fit his socialism goal pretty well... working man.... bourgeois.... proletariat... you know the drill. Stalin was captured and sent to Siberia seven, count 'em, seven times, but escaped pretty much every time he was sent to the frozen wasteland that is Siberia. Wanna see Siberia?

Yeah.... ouch. Who wouldn't want to escape?

So, we found our dear Loseb to be.... DATEABLE.

He did do some pretty messed up stuff for the Bolsheviks (who have a pretty sweet title... booolsheviks...), but he definately was dedicated to a cause he believed in, so what kind of things whould he do for you? If he's dedicated to your relationship he would do anything for you, which is really sweet, right? However, one thing not so dateable is that as a child, Stalin grew up in a town where the police force was weak, and street fighting was a common thing. What if he became agressive or taught your hypothetical children that street fighting was appropriate? Not a good situation. He did, however, like the ideals of supporting the less fortunate (perhaps because of the background of danger and abuse he faced as a helpless child), so he was all for the working man and making life good. Communism isn't necessary a bad IDEA, but in practice, it never works out well. Hunger for power is just part of human nature.  He was obviously extrememly intelligent and resourceful since he escaped the same place numerous times. You think the guards would know to keep an eye on him, or at least expect SOMETHING.  "Oh no, Look Vlad, Stalin's back, he's already found 93 ways to escape this month.... i wonder what it will be this time..."

So, let's tally the points!

Dateable:

• Dedication
• Supported the working man (and perhaps the working woman)
• Freaking Smart

Undateable:

• Violence

So, my little sugar plums, it's GRAPH TIME!!!

And there you have it! Tune in next time for our next exciting adventure in the Dateable Blog!!

DBZ Dateable Saga Part 2

Last time on our adventures with the Dateable and NonDateables of Dragon Ball Z, we left off after discussing two of our main characters. Now, my precious little sugarplums, we move on to the stoic Tien Shinhan....

We found Tien Shinhan to be....DATEABLE.

He's bald and serious. But that's okay. Bald men are shmexxy. He's like Vin Diesel or Bruce Willis. Even though he cares for a small man-child...like, a really strange attachment....what are they to each other? How did they meet? Is Chiaotzu competition? That may be the one flaw in this situation. Can you imagine a dinner date? You tryna get to know the man, you get caught in a freaky situation where you end up being the third wheel. Besides that, Tien is all good. Remember when Launch tried to date him, and he didn't care? That was awesome. He doesn't mind if you're a little bit psycho...or a lot psycho...just be your crazy self who likes to shoot people and has a serious personality disorder. Besides, who knows, maybe if you were at least resembling normal, he might actually like you more! Also, Tien is just so hard-core! To win a game, he flippin' broke somebody's leg. Dang, if he did that just to win a competition, imagine what he would do for you.

Alright, let's break it down for you, point system style.

Dateable Points:

1. bald and shmexxy


2. doesn't mind crazies


3. he is TOTALLY hard core

Undateable Points:

1. Creepy man-child attachment

So for those of you who need help that's 3 good points versus 1... interesting bad point. Which is demonstrated by this snazzy graph:

And there you have it my dear sugar blossoms. plain and simple.

Next up, we have a small creature with red cheeks. No, not Pikachu... It's Chiaotzu!!

We found Chiaotzu to be UNDATEABLE.

He's a little creepy....wait did I say little? I meant a buttload. Like he just stares at people. And has he ever had a change in expression the whole time? the WHOLE series? I think not. He only has one hair. Why just ONE? Shave that sucker off...although that would be easy maintenance...wouldn't even have to brush it. Plus, there are some troubling questions that one would have to find out the answers to before they started dating him. For one, what is he? Is he human or some kind of animated doll? Freaky. Also, does he wear make up? His morning routine would be longer than yours. We just don't know...He's also kind of like a clown. Yup. Although he DOES hang out with Tien, so he's got some cute friends going on, and since Tien is so cool, maybe there is something we failed to see in Chiaotzu that could be a total plus... maybe he's an awesome dancer, or tells really epic jokes, or maybe he just got some swag! We just don't know...

So to total up these points, we got:

Undateable:

1. Super creepy by staring a lot


2. we don't know what he is


3. he wears more make up than you (potentially)

Dateable:

1. Has cool friends so there is potential for something in him.... somewhere.... that maybe we haven't seen...

That's 3 to 1 my friends! He's your swagalicious chart!!

And now, sadly, our last topic of discussion this time.... the ever famous turtle hermit himself...Master Roshi.

We found Master Roshi to be UNDATEABLE.

Ew. I feel like there isn't much to be argued here...He's just a dirty old pervert. If he be near a female that he finds attractive, he will tell her....by touching her butt...or other parts of her body. No, thank you sir. That is just unacceptable! Also he's an old man. Which, for some, would be fine if he was rich, but he isn't. So keep those touchy-fingers to yourself. I suppose you could try to come up with some good qualities about Master Roshi, but not only are those really... REALLY hard to find, but we're also rather sleep deprived college students, so sorting through hundreds of episodes for a reputable act.... isn't on the top of our lists. I guess you could say he is... a good teacher... and kind of wise... but that doesn't really do much for the dating spectrum of his personality.

So let's tally this up for you:

Undateable:

1. pervert


2. super old dude


3. bad influence on students, and children in general...

Dateable:.....???

Aaaaaaaaaaaand the judges call it............. 3 to 0!!!! It's unanimous folks! Undateable! PIE CHART THAT SUCKER!!!!

And by all means, my cute little sausage links, if you find a good reason to date Master Roshi, we would LOVE to hear it. Seriously.

Tune in next time for the next exciting adventure in The Dateable Blog!!!!

DBZ Dateable Saga Part 1

We mentioned we were nerds, right? And what kind of nerds would we be if we didn't like Dragon Ball Z? So, here is our take on the characters in this epic show full of battles and screaming.
Of course, we must start with our hero. Goku...

We found Goku to be... UNDATEABLE.
Why? You may ask. Well, there's a plethora of reasons.  He is a horrible father. Remember that time he told Gohan they would go fishing together before fighting Vegeta? And then they didn't go fishing together for like 4 or 5 years? Yeah, lame. So, that's strike number one. He's always leaving his family alone.  Always. We understand that he has to go fight things, and that is  noble, in fact we will even count that as a point of dateability, however, leaving his wife and only child for years at a time is unacceptable.
He always tardy to the party… so to speak. He is either dead, healing, traveling, or training when people need him and are dying, yo! Be there on time! Yes, he arrives and worries about the people who are in the slow, painful process of death before fighting the current enemy, but he probably could have prevented that by COMING SOONER. Strike number two.
He's pretty annoying, all he does is eat and fight.  He doesn’t know his own strength so be prepared to get chucked through a window, through a tree, and into a dirt pile ( Just ask Chi Chi).  He won't listen to any one's advice.  If he feels like doing it, he will, without considering the consequences to himself or anyone else. Also, where any of these may apply to other characters, they aren't supposed to be the super cool epic hero of the show, as opposed this this fellow...
Now, BE AMAZED AT OUR AMAZING PIE CHART!!!!

Obviously, the undateability is greater than the dateability. Not that Goku isn't a nice guy, but he just isn't boyfriend material.

ON TO THE NEXT ONE!!

Alright, my sweet little cupcakes, our next contender is the caped crusader: Piccolo!

We found Piccolo to be.... DATEABLE.

Let's face it, he's pretty super cool. He is green, and basically raises Gohan by himself. He's like a single mom or something, but totally awesome! (not that single moms aren't totally awesome, but how many single  moms do YOU know that can shoot lasers from their eyes? Exactly.) Whenever, I repeat, WHENEVER Gohan is in trouble and about to die, Piccolo is there to beat the crap out of somebody. It's true, he was pretty harsh on Gohan, and may seem anti social, but deep down, he's really a softy. He is from an alien race, like all the main characters in this series (pretty much) however his race doesn't have genders.... soo..... either way go for it. Back in Dragon Ball, he was known for his one liners, so we already know he's a funny guy, and when his tough guy facade get broken by something (usually Goku's stupidity) it's rather amusing.


SHOCK AND DISBELIEF!! ANOTHER PIE CHART!!!!!

 He's loyal. He's epic. He's green. He has a cape. 'nuff said.


Come back for the next exciting adventure in The Dateable Blog!!!!

So The Journey Begins...

Once upon a time, in a galaxy far, far away, there were two slightly nerdy college girls who decided to compose a blog about who they found attractive, dateable people, and who they did not. Their exploration of these topics would not be held by the confines of reality- anything was fair game under their microscope: past world leaders, Disney movies, anime, farther than your wildest imaginiation! With you, yes you, at our sides, we shall be able to catagorize these characters into one of the two catagories: The Dateable or The Undateable.

To Be Continued....