Alright, class is in session. Today, we will be discussing the dateability of dictators, revolutionaries, and historical bad boys. Yes, my little cran-apple muffins, dictators are a fundamentally undateable group based solely on moral principles, but let’s go back…. Back into time…before they all were ruthless, heartless dictators… to a time when they were younger and more impressionable, exploring the world and all the opportunities it held for them! Plus, they were far more attractive back then. Forward, March!
When I told Mandy that I wanted to put Che Guevara on here, she was thinking of THIS picture:
However, I was thinking of THIS picture:
Ernesto (Che) Guevara was a revolutionary who engaged in guerrilla warfare in three different countries all located in three different continents. This man got around! When he was a young man, he was well read. He has an eclectic taste in school: His favorite subjects ranged from mathematics to philosophy to archeology. He enjoyed the strategy involved in chess from the young age of 12, and kept notebooks on ideas and concepts similar to those of Nietzsche, Freud, and London. He really enjoyed the classics such as Jules Verne and William Faulkner. Plus, he liked poetry, ladies, so this guy was a romantic. Pablo Neruda, John Keats, and Walt Whitman were some of his faves. Guevara was also quiet athletic. He loved to swim, play football (or soccer if that's what you want to call it), golf, cycling, and of course, rugby. This guy was a BEAST at rugby.
We found the young, non-revolution-starting Guevara to be DATEABLE.
He was interested in many different academic pursuits, which goes in a point for the dateable because hey, you'll probably have common interests you can talk about for hours and hours on the telephone. And what you don't know about, he can teach you! Who knows how much time you would spend together doing new and exciting things! He likes poetry, so he could read some romantic prose by Keats to you as you stroll on a quiet, moonlit beach. ¡Qué romántico! One thing that may not be so dateable is the fact that he spent a lot of time forming his philosophy of life in those notebooks of his, he might lock himself up a lot to read a write instead of chillin' with his boo (that's you, honey). Also he might try to start a fight with you.... I mean.... that's like... what he does. All over the world. so that's not a good point either....
Dateable Points:
- Well rounded, common interests
- Romantic
- Sporty
- Hermit-esque?
- Likes fighting/ battling it out
Guevara was kind of a nerd, but at the same time he was really a Renaissance man... then he grew a beard and started revolutions across the globe...
Our next contender for the title of "dateable" is the ever popular Joseph Stalin.
What you think of:
What WE think of:
Joseph Stalin was born Loseb Besarionis dze Jughashvili (whoa. try saying that 10 times fast...). At the age of seven he contracted smallpox, which permanently scarred his face :( but as the picture above illustrates, he still became a rather dashing young lad! :D He attended the Georgian Orthodox seminary where he acquired the nickname "Koba" from a story sort of like Robinhood. Obviously, he enjoyed the idea of helping the unfortunate and redistributing wealth (wink, wink). It's even said that he started a Socialism study group in school (shouldn't they have seen the whole "future dictator" thing coming?). After reading some literature by Lenin (Literature by Lenin...sounds kinda like a PBS program...), our little Loseb decided to become a revolutionary. Yup, he became a full-time Bolshevik and outlaw; He spent his time spreading propaganda,instigating strikes, and raising money. Oh, and by "raising money" we mean bank robberies, collecting ransom from kidnappings, extortion, in short, he was a freaking bandit. That or a gangster (not to ever be confused with "gangsta"... pretty sure he wasn't one of those). He adopted the name "Stalin", from the Russian word for steel. Don't know what "Jughashvili" comes from, but "steel" seems to fit his socialism goal pretty well... working man.... bourgeois.... proletariat... you know the drill. Stalin was captured and sent to Siberia seven, count 'em, seven times, but escaped pretty much every time he was sent to the frozen wasteland that is Siberia. Wanna see Siberia?
Yeah.... ouch. Who wouldn't want to escape?
So, we found our dear Loseb to be.... DATEABLE.
He did do some pretty messed up stuff for the Bolsheviks (who have a pretty sweet title... booolsheviks...), but he definately was dedicated to a cause he believed in, so what kind of things whould he do for you? If he's dedicated to your relationship he would do anything for you, which is really sweet, right? However, one thing not so dateable is that as a child, Stalin grew up in a town where the police force was weak, and street fighting was a common thing. What if he became agressive or taught your hypothetical children that street fighting was appropriate? Not a good situation. He did, however, like the ideals of supporting the less fortunate (perhaps because of the background of danger and abuse he faced as a helpless child), so he was all for the working man and making life good. Communism isn't necessary a bad IDEA, but in practice, it never works out well. Hunger for power is just part of human nature. He was obviously extrememly intelligent and resourceful since he escaped the same place numerous times. You think the guards would know to keep an eye on him, or at least expect SOMETHING. "Oh no, Look Vlad, Stalin's back, he's already found 93 ways to escape this month.... i wonder what it will be this time..."
So, let's tally the points!
Dateable:
- Dedication
- Supported the working man (and perhaps the working woman)
- Freaking Smart
- Violence
And there you have it! Tune in next time for our next exciting adventure in the Dateable Blog!!
No comments:
Post a Comment