DBZ Dateable Saga Part 3

Did you miss us?? 'Cuz we def missed you, you gorgeous sunflower seeds. Instead of bad boys of history, we go back to DBZ, because we know that you love cartoons more than real men. First character on our chopping block is Yamcha. Look at him and all his ruggedness!

We found Yamcha to be......UNDATEABLE.

Well, if you've seen the original Dragon Ball, you realize how far Yamcha has fallen. He used to be cool....kinda. I mean, he still got his bohunkus kicked by an 11 year kid on a regular basis, but he was better than he turned out at the end of the series. One reason he isn't the best boyfriend material is because he is so desperate for a girlfriend. This child was so thirsty for a chick he was going to use the all-powerful Dragon to wish for a girlfriend....really? Seriously dude, get a hobby. Then it took him 30 episodes to realize Bulma wanted a boyfriend. He is pretty special. Speaking of special, have you seen his hair? It looks ridiculous 85% of the time. The last reason he is undateable is because he is SO LAME!!! Like forreal. He's not very good at fighting, even worse than Krillin...and that's saying something. He's not all bad. He... tries.... to be good..... be just isn't. Remember the fight with the Saiyans? he was the first one to die of everyone that showed up... even the saibamen lasted longer..... but we will give him a point for just eventually giving up. Seriously. Well.... maybe just half a point... He realized he was absolutely no competition for his friends anymore, so he grows another really dumb hair style and tries to attract the lady types well into his forties with his rugged scars and flashy suits. Oh, did we mention his manly scars? Yep, those are sexy...I guess. Where did those come from again? They kind of never mentioned it.... Well it's here laid out for you in case you got lost.

Bad

1. Desperate

2. Lame
3. Not too bright
4. Literally afraid of females
5. Ridankadank hair


Good

1. Finally gave up (can this actually be considered good?) 1/2 point!
2. Scars?....?

And if this still isn't clear, here's a chart!

Someone in the series who was considered extremely hot, even if it was only for one episode, was Zarbon. What do we think?

We found Zarbon to be....UNKNOWN.

Sorry to disappoint my tasty little lemon drops, but we could not decide if Zarbon is worthy of you or not. He is very confusing. He seems a little…gay? Which is fine….if you are reading this and a man. But at the same time, is he? We can't tell. Also, he is supposedly extremely attractive. You know how when you were a kid you had those cartoon crushes, like Danny Phantom? Or was that just me.....anyhoo, this just doesn't cut it for me. He can transform into a bigger…. bumpy self? I guess he's pretty strong for the most part, which is actually really nice. He could protect you and stuff. But also take into account how for the whole time we know him, he's Freiza's little lap dog, doing all his bidding, flying off to cater to his every whim..... maybe if he's gay.... nevermind. More of that later. So all in all, everything bad cancels out everything good.

Good

1. He's pretty attractive.
2. He's strong.
   

Bad

1. We can't tell the sexual orientation of this man.
2. He's a dude who takes orders from a small.... man... thing

Attack of the Pie Chart!!

And here we are with the last questionable character, Krillin. Warning, picture rated PG for scary expression.

We found Krillin to be...UNDATEABLE.

He tries to be a hero but...well...he kinda fails...at every endeavor he tries. Well, at least most of them... He has horrible taste in girls. Remember Marron? Yeah. So if he likes you, watch out. Also he is pretty desperate. He once tried to date a little Indian boy...but I guess we can't blame him because he thought it was a girl. No matter the situation, Krillin tries to get out of it because he is scared. Ladies and gentlemen, do you really want someone who is too scared to protect you? I thought not. He has no hair and no nose. That may be upsetting for you (as it is traumatizing for me), unless noses annoy you, then hey, go for it. But maybe we're being to hasty. Maybe his looks will vastly improve with hair...

....nope. But maybe looks don't matter and that's all that counts (and at least its not a bowl cut...). Putting all physical attractiveness aside, Krillin still doesn't have a lot going for him. Let us count the ways.

Bad
1. He doesn't have a nose.
2. He's incredible desperate.
3. He's a coward.

Good
1. Sometimes he tries to be brave...

Hit me up with a pie chart, homegirl!

And there you have it. Join us next time, for the exciting adventures of The Dateable Blog!